27 YEAR OLD VIRGIN

  You mean to say that, you are a 27 year old Virgin? When she posted this question I didn’t actually hear the words that came out of her lips but I was just watching the beauty of her lip movement.  She was looking very graceful in her blue top. Yes I’m. Don’t I look like a Virgin? I questioned her back. We both were one peg down and I never knew this place can be so good. I now knew it was not about the place but the company I’m with makes the difference. Two more pegs down she was going strong and I could feel like my head spinning and she started asking me about my first love. I still don’t get why girls always wants to talk about first crush and first kiss. It’s my past and I don’t live there anymore. This girl was above all. Her next question really made me speechless. Did u make out with her? I should have stopped this conversation there but I kept on speaking after taking one more peg.


One thing was sure, we truly loved each other. She wanted me with all her heart, just as I wanted her. But she was not sure it was right to give up her virginity before she married. That would make her a fallen lady and she wasn't ready to become that. She was a Christian girl and had been taught sex before marriage is a sin, and neither of us wanted to sin. She loved me though so very much. I didn't see what it mattered that she had to save her virginity for marriage.

I was sure willing to give up my virginity for her. As a matter of fact, I was very willing to give it up. I was ready to give it up for years already. She kept saying no though so I honored her feelings on the subject. I had told her I loved her and wanted to marry her after I finish college but that was still four years down the road. I just didn't see how I could wait another four years. She had accepted my marriage proposal even if it meant waiting until college was finished.

We were together after our dates many a times and had to take a cold shower just to go to sleep.   I was pretty sure she had some sleepless nights too because I knew she had almost lost control a few times. But I was a true gentleman and during those times she had got so aroused from our petting, I had not insisted she give in to me because I knew that would have been taking advantage of her at a vulnerable time. I had integrity and honor. Horney as I was with all my hormones raging, I would not take advantage of the girl I loved. If she gave in to me it had to be something we both planned well in advance, not something done in the back seat of a car on the spur of the moment. I wanted our first time together to be something we would both remember for the rest of their lives. I would plan something very special for us. I was sure I wanted her to be my wife already. I could not even imagine my life without her in it. It was not easy to do though, but I realized anything worth having is worth the wait. It's not always instant gratification that is so important, but self-discipline can prove to you that you can maintain self-control when necessary.

It was beautiful but, the Almighty had different plans for us. I was at my native place when her friend called me up to say that the car she was travelling met with an accident. When I reached there I could not look at her face once. Her beautiful face is not beautiful anymore. I couldn’t see her motionless body. She was beautiful in a long white gown and veil and white heels.  I felt like I was all alone in this crowded world. It took me months to come out of that shock

I’m sorry Vineesh. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry for what had happened to you. I could see tears in her eyes and I was happy that, my story had done the magic expected. Now she is going to believe me that, I’m a loving, caring and Virgin BF material. I’ve created a masterpiece background for it. It was so quick after that. We departed to our respective houses and I could see her eyes still moist. I’m happy that, my plan is working well.

It’s been a week now and still I was not successful in scoring. She was busy with her work so was I. One day she came rushing to me and asked about my blog. I never knew, not telling that, I’m a blogger will create so much problem. I tried to convince her about the percentage of fiction and reality in my blogs. She was not ready to buy my arguments. She was in the opinion that I cannot write an intimate scene without experiencing it. Something stuck in my mind suddenly.  I asked her, how the hell does she know the feeling?

Her response was loud. I had a fucking BF. I wanted to ask her was that an Adjective or a Verb. I don’t speak anything and I’m sure she is like an active Volcano now. Tears always find a way to her eyes. How could you lie to me so casually? All boys are the same. You don’t care for our feeling. She kept on speaking like she owns me. I wanted to ask her back that, what is the big deal if I’m not a Virgin, neither is she. I controlled my emotions and tried to pacify her. I told her my blogs are work of imagination and there is nothing real in it. I’m a Virgin.

It was a switch. She stopped crying instantly. I never knew she could stop crying so easily. She stood up, looked straight up into my eyes and told me this relationship has no future and we need to break up. Break-up? What is happening? It ends before it started. I was confused and asked her what is it and what is wrong with her. She told me that, she could not have a relationship with a Virgin. This tactics of being virgin had never gone wrong, what is happening today? That was the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard for a breakup.

Someone walking out of my life was a new thing for me. It was always the other way around. I needed to drink today. Drink like a mad man. I asked my friend to join me. He looked equally sad as I was. I asked him, what happened and he told me that, he will have to wait for 1 month to have sex. I was curious to know the reason. Why should a playboy like him need to wait that too for 4 weeks? I got a new girlfriend and she is only 17 years and 11 month old. We both burst out to laughter. He was laughing like a mad guy when he gulped his On-The-Rocks white rum.    

My life became normal again, I was back into my normal life, but every night I dream of her. Is this what they call true love? My relationships usually last for a couple of months and I easily get out of it and what is stopping me from this one? How could things change so drastically? I’ve lost interest in everything. When ever I close my eyes I could see her. My friend told me to get a new girl to get out of her memories. I started with my signature style and told her the story why I’m a Virgin waiting for her. I did what he told me and I was happy with the new girl, but the moment I’m alone it is all her again. I was alone before also but her absence is making me fell lonelier.

I plugged in my earphone and played a gazzal in loop mode and dozed off to sleep hopping she will one day come out of my dreams and hug me tightly. Will she know my feeling, I’ve no idea. I have a strong feeling she will come back to me.

Jagjit Singh’sgazzal was still playing


“tere baare main jab socha nahi tha

main tanha tha magar itna nahi tha

tere baare main jab socha nahi tha

teri tasveer se karta tha batein

mere kamre main aina nahi tha

main tanha tha magar itna nahi tha

tere bare main jab socha nahi tha...

samunder ne mujhey pyasa kiya tha

main jab sehara tha pyasa nahi tha

main tanha tha.....

manane ruthney ke khel main hum

bhichad jayenge ye socha nahi tha

main tanha tha ...

suna hai band kar li usne ankhein

kai raaton se woh soya nahi tha

main tanha tha....”