Wrong Key

Story of a man and woman who had to stay in a house, where a murder happens and have to go on a run to escape from police.

Bollywood Dreamz

I zeroed down on Aamir Khan as the hero of my movie. Then I decided against it. His track record is not good. “Earth quake in Kutch after the shooting of “Lagaan”, Cloud Burst in Ladakh after the shooting of “3 Idiots”, Fire Accident in the sets of “Talaash” and now the accident  during the shooting of “Dhoom 3”.  I need a good omen guy.

Jeth

First time I met him was in the local train. I was reading John Grisham's "The King of Torts". His voice was as irritating as any sales man who comes in and disturbs us.  He had a couple  of headphones with him in multi colour. I was not a bit interested in buying the same. He was a bit different in his approach, he was not in a monologue to sell his product, but was having dialogue with the passengers. This was really strange and I tried to figure out what was wrong with him. The moment he came near I knew, the reason, he was drunk.

He came near me and tried to sell me a pink headphone. I asked him, "Daru peeke kyon bejtha hai ?". (Why are u drunk?) He was quick and took it very defensively. He told me that "Saab maine Daru nahi piya.. Yeh toh Beer hai". I couldn't hide my smile. By the time the train reached Mankhurd station and he jumped out of the train. He looked back smiled, waved at me and disappeared in the crowd. I went back into my Novel.

Couple of weeks later when I came back to Mumbai after a long official tour, I had no idea, I would meet him again. This time he was my auto driver. I suddenly recognized him due to his unique way of speaking with that Bojpuri accent. I didn't know if he had recognized me or not, but was speaking to me like he knew me for years. He was taking me to Kurla railway station from Mumbai Airport. Even in this half an hour ride he narrated me about his entire life. Even during the ride he didn't forget to help another autowala by pushing the auto till the nearby CNG station. He kept on speaking even though he was pushing the other auto with his leg.

He started with the difference between Mumbai and Bihar Culture. He was not happy with the kind of micro skirts and hot pants girls wear in  Mumbai. He continued speaking like, he was a great narrator. Sirji you know that, in our Bihar, our females would never come out of the house. They always wear Ghunghat (a veil or headscarf worn by Indian women to cover their head and often their face). They will never show their face to any stranger.


I told him that I knew about this custom and one of my friend from TATA Nagar had told me about the fact that she cannot show her face or even touch her Jeth (Husband's elder Brother). My friend also told me that if by mistake her Jeth sat on her bed, she cannot use it without cleaning it properly. I kept of offering the little knowledge I had about the system and culture. May be because of my excitement of knowing my culture I didn't notice, he was feeling very uncomfortable and had gone mute suddenly. I some how realized the situation and asked him what was wrong?

Sirji, what you are saying is very correct. These are some rules in the society and these are made to safe guard the well being of the society. You know sir, my wife was working in a small enterprise nearby and my dad doesn't want her work because, she will have to interact with other male staff and customers. She didn't say anything and from next day onward she stopped going for work. That is our culture, but that bastard was within the family, what can I do? Whom are you talking about? My curiosity grew. My elder brother cheated me. What happened, I asked as if I cared for him.


One day when I came home I saw my wife cleaning the Charpoy. I asked her why she was doing and she told me that, Jeth by mistake sat on it. Like her I also thought it was a mistake. but one day he actually tried to rape my wife. It didn't happen because I reached home at that time. I had no words to say anything, I managed to ask him What did he do after seeing such an awful scene?

In our village it is very easy Sirji. If some one is guilty Panjayat decides the punishment. I was curious to know what was his elder brother's Punishment. He took a deep breath and told me that, the panjayat decided to hang them both to death. We call it honor killing. I was in a shock for a moment. You mean your wife was also hanged along with your elder brother? By the time our Auto reached Kurla Railway station.

He took the cash from me and returned me the balance and he started turning his Auto and before riding away he told. " Sirji ek haath se tali nahi bajti.." I just stood there for few seconds looking at his auto moving away.

Harshini

Local Trains are the life lines of Mumbai. If local trains don’t run one day in Mumbai it will affect the economy of India. Such is the importance of them. The train was crowded like hell. I was going to my office.  I was singing “Happy B’day” jingle over the phone. I didn’t care about the staring co-passengers. I don’t remember last time when did I cry. Today once I completed the Happy B’day Jingle my eyes were moist. I know Harshini would have heard every word I sang even though she cannot respond. I still remember our first meeting.

Vjay Dhoble was making news everyday. He is the Assistant Commissioner of Police (Social Service Branch).  He was on a rampage to fight against the anti social elements. I never thought I’ll meet him in such an awkward situation.  One of my friends had invited me for a party in Juhu. I had no idea this party would land me up in police custody.  It was the best party I’ve attended till that day. Everything stopped as soon as a bunch of cops led by ACP rushed into the party hall. Everyone was pushed out of the party hall and in that process a 16 year old girl fell over my shoulders. She was not in her consciousness. I held het tightly so that she doesn’t fall down. I slowly removed the black silky hair from her face with my fingers.  That was the first sight of my beautiful Harshini.

Harshini appeared no less then a budding beauty queen. Harshini was a rare combination of Simplicity, Beauty and Wisdom. A glimpse of her could fill any man’s mind with various fantasies of spending a lifetime with her. Those who did not feel that ways could rush to a physician for a through check-up and advice, and those who shared the sentiment would agree that she was the one. No man would have wished to take her as a daughter or a sister. Nevertheless, I did, as both. Not that I needed medical advice to reassure myself about my manhood, but then at times, restraint is also a test that manhood needs to undergo. I did. I passed and yet I think I had failed in a way.

She was taken away from my hands by a lady cop and I just stood help less. That whole night in the police lockup I was only thinking about her. I didn’t even feel the pain when cops collected my blood samples for checking if I’ve consumed illegal drugs. She was special. She must be 16 year old girl but I was looking at her with a fatherly or brotherly affection. I never had this feeling before. I had no idea, what was wrong with me? I wanted to meet her as soon as I get out of this police station.  

I straight away went to the hospital, which the lady cop told me, where Harshini was admitted that day. I had no idea what her name was. I some how managed to get a glimpse of her through the glass window of ICU. She was sleeping like a little baby. I was staring at her innocent face like a first time dad would look at his kid when handed over for the first time. I was woken up from by dream world when some one opened the door of ICU. It was a beautiful woman in her late 30s. It was not her beauty that struck me, but for moment we were staring at each other like we just fell in love at first sight. When she came into her senses, expression in her eyes changed.  She looked worried. She just walked away even before saying a single word. I just looked at her as she walked away. She looked back at least, three times before she moved out of my sight.

I made it a habit to visit the hospital and enquire about Harshini’s development with the doctor. It was difficult for me to stay with out her glimpse once in a day. Now I have another reason to visit the hospital.  My new found reason happened to be Harshini’s mom.  She was not looking like a mother of 16 year old. She was elegant and always carried herself to the best.

It was on the third day when she actually spoke to me. I told her everything, where I and Harshini met and how I cannot stay with out her glimpse, atleast once in a day. She invited me for lunch at her place. I accepted the offer without any hesitation. It was an old building with a beautiful garden outside. It looked so familiar to me. During our lunch she talked about her love. She told me how her love met with an accident and left her all alone in this world. She told me that, she was in a state of shock for 2 years. It looked strange to me. I almost felt that I knew this couple for long. When she was narrating her love story, I felt as if I was watching the same movie again and again. It was still okay till she showed me her BFs photos. It looked like a science fiction movie where you travel in time.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Her BF looked exactly like me. He looked funny with his hippy style hair and bell bottom pants. Now I know why she was staring at me when we first met. I also know why she invited me to her home that day. Is she thinking that, I’m her BF’s re-birth? I had no idea, about what she was thinking, but I was convinced about one thing that I had a romantic attraction towards her rather than towards her daughter.  Am I really a re-birth? I was getting strangled with my thoughts when she came and put her hands over my shoulder.  She asked me what is wrong with me and I said I’m fine and told her I need to leave. I was getting uncomfortable with her presence. She came too close to me that I could feel her breath and I knew it was high time to get out of this house. I slowly made my way towards the exit and waved goodbye to her.

I wanted some peace of mind. I somehow managed to call my Ex for a dinner date. I badly wanted to get away from the thoughts of Harshini’s mom. I wanted to make me believe that I’m not a re-birth. We had a romantic dinner and we were drunk like we always would before we get into the act. It was quite sometime I got laid and I badly wanted it to happen. I went to her place and as usual we didn’t have the patience to reach the bedroom. We started our act in the living room itself. Today it was different. I always felt love and sex are two different things. But today I was not mentally present there. Half way though she could feel that and she stopped and pushed me apart.

She pulled my jeans which was lying on the floor and took B&H out of its pocket and started fagging. This is a ritual we follow once we are done with the act, but today she had started doing it in the middle. I just sat there looking at her like a school kid who had not performed well in his mid-term exam.  She passed me the cancer stick and I took a deep puff. I’m sorry sweetheart, I cannot do it.  I took my jeans from her hands and got dressed up as quickly as possible. I handed over the cancer stick back to her.  I walked out of her door when she just looked at me with her blank expression. It was the first time in my life I’ve walked out in between the act.  I just looked back and could see her mixing some weed into my foreign imported cancer stick. I really wanted to take a puff, but decided not to. My mind was wandering like a kite without string.

It’s been a week since I’ve had lunch with Harshini’s mom. I decided to visit her and get a glimpse of Harshini. I stopped a moment before I rang the door bell. Even before I could ring the bell the door opened in front of me. Harshini’s mom hugged and welcomed me in. I made myself comfortable in the imported sofa. My eyes were searching for Harshini. She walked out of her room,  She was wearing white shorts and blue t-shirt and was holding an i-pad in her hand. She waved her hand at me and I did the same. This was the first time I was seeing her in consciousness.  She was looking like a beautiful angel who was here to spread happiness in this world.

I asked her, what is her name. She didn’t speak anything. Her mom told her name is Harshini and she cannot speak. She never looked like a child who cannot speak. I suddenly became speechless as I didn’t know what to speak from there.  Harshini took control over the situation and she started conversing with me through sign language. In the beginning her mom was our translator.  It didn’t take me long to learn sign language and Harshini to learn my lip reading. We enjoyed each other’s company very much.

I always made it point to visit Harshini when ever possible. Am I visiting her just because I enjoy her company or I had a thing for her mother? I was a regular visitor to her house till that day when she was out for shopping with her friends. Her mom invited me in and offered me a cup of coffee. One thing led to the other and in sometime we were in the master bedroom and we were lip locked and my hands were moving over her body when Harshini rang the door bell. I suddenly got my consciousness back and left the house after exchanging pleasantries with Harshini.

I didn’t return for at-least two weeks till Harshini asked me to drive her to Thane to meet her friend. I drove her to Thane and dropped her where she asked me to. She got out of the car and was crossing the road. I just closed my eyes when a speeding car hit her. I could see my Harshini lying on the road covered in blood. I ran out to her and picked up her in my hands and I collided down on the road. When I got the consciousness back I was in a Hospital. I asked about Harshini and came to know that she was in ICU. It was the second time I’m gonna watch her in the ICU. I slowly gathered courage and waked towards the ICU.

Her mom was sitting there and I could see her eyes were moist. She buried her face on my chest and started crying. I didn’t know how to react to her. I made her sit and I sat next to her. She held my arms and kept her head over my shoulder. I could feel the wetness of her tears over my shoulder. She wiped her tears and told me that I need to go away from her life. I was shocked and didn’t know what she was speaking. I just stared at her as she continued. You are not good for us. After you came to our life it is the second time my daughter is in ICU. You are also making me think about my old days. 

A nurse came down and told us, Harshini is awake and is asking for mom and someone called Vineesh.  I stood up to walk towards the ICU, she came in front of me and stopped me. Please stay away from my kid. I’m dead serious. Make some stories and go away from Mumbai. I didn’t know what to do. I just stood still watching her walk into the ICU and she turned back once and turned away and the door closed in front of me. I walked out of the hospital like I’ve lost my world. Next day I put my papers and planned to move to city of Gardens from City of Dreams.

It was difficult for me to forget everything and live a normal life in this city. I desperately needed a change. I’ve completed three quarters of my notice period and have not met or talked to Harshini or her mom. Today she called me up and told it was Harshini’s B’day and she is still in ICU and her chances of recovery is minimal. She wanted me to wish her Happy Birthday on phone and stay away from her.  I was singing “Happy B’day” jingle over the phone. I didn’t care about the staring co-passengers. I don’t remember last time when did I cry. Today once I completed the Happy B’day Jingle my eyes were moist. I know Harshini would have heard every word I sang even though she cannot respond.

FOSLA Club

Love @ Wasseypur

It was August 17^th and my friend looked a bit confused and uncomfortable.  Today he was getting lot of phone call. It looks like people are wishing him something and he was thanking them. It cannot be his birthday, because I remember celebrating his birthday couple of months back. So what is going wrong with this guy? Curiosity is the mother of all modern day events. I’m curious to know what was wrong with my friend.  I took him for a drink. I just wanted to know what was worrying him. He started speaking his mind after the 2^nd peg.

This story happens in one of the best engineering college in East India (Near Wasseypur). The Hero of this story is Amit. He was an intelligent young engineering aspirant who just joined a reputed college. Best thing of this collage’s ragging was that they also trained you how to rag the next batch that comes in. This story is narrated in his words only.

The dress code which was a mandate during ragging for a Jangu (Junior) was so stupid that it would make anyone look dumb. 12 years before there was no T-shirt quote which suggested “99% girls are beautiful and rest 1% is in my college” but I still felt that was the condition in my college.  Our ragging season will end with Saraswati puja. We were all eagerly waiting for that special day. It was an unwritten rule of our institute that Saraswati Puja will be organized by freshers and that day will mark the end of ranging for the year. That is the day in which we can come out of our dress code. I never thought that day will be so beautiful.

All fresher girls where in Saree and one of them was so special. She was always my class mate and I never noticed her. Sayonara was looking awesomely beautiful.  Her eyes were sapphire blue that you were effortlessly mesmerized by, with long skinny eyelashes in the colour midnight that she flicked almost constantly. Her skin was slightly lighter than Ivory, with a metallic rose coloured tint to her cheeks. Her faultless dark hair fell loosely over her shoulders into skinny, slack curls. Her lips were like a frozen rose, dangerous but beautiful.

I had no idea what I was doing; I was almost staring at her like a statue till my friends got me back from my dreamland.  I still not remember what happened in that puja, but I only could recollect her beautiful image. By the time I reached my hostel room after the puja at least a dozen of my friends knows I was in love with my Sayonara. She had already become Bhabhi for all of them. They encouraged me to go ahead. That night was the best night of my life. I was thinking only about her beauty and she was in my dreams that whole night.

Next day in the class I was trying to get a glimpse of my Sayonara through the corner of my eyes. She was looking beautiful. I had no idea when the class started and when it got over.   That day I came to know that it was not only me who was hit by the cupid’s arrow. Her mesmerizing beauty had got her few other admirers also. Some one from chemical engineering had proposed to her. It was a relief for me to know that, she had rejected the proposal. That day we had a meeting in my room. There were 10 of my friends sitting on my bed and encouraging me to go and speak my mind to her. They told me that I was the batch opener of CSE branch or in fact the college opener (Top Rank holder to get admitted to the college). A chemical engineer had no chance in front of a Computer Engineer (This was before Y2K).

I was also motivated by the encouragement from my friends but never was able to make my mind so strong to go and express my feeling towards her. Days passed one by one and I never missed any opportunity to be near her and have a conversation. Our friendship was developing into a strong bond. I still have not developed courage to tell her how I feel for her. My friends used to update me about her other admirer’s. Till date she had rejected 15 proposals and we were almost convinced that she was rejecting all these proposals because of me.

Days flew away and it was the eve of Valentine’s Day. There was again a meeting in my room. This time my friends wanted me to convey my feeling to her. I was still not ready for the same and my friends were insisting me to give the Valentine’s Day card to her. They had already bought a card and I only had to write my initials on it. I denied doing the same. They had another option for me. If I didn’t send her a card they will send it on my behalf but instead of “Meri Pyari Sayonara” it will be “Meri Pyari Behan”. I was so pissed off right now and I said I’m not going to send any card.  They just called the boy who was working in the hostel mess and handed over the card and asked him to hand it over to Sayonara personally. I couldn’t handle anything above it. I pushed everyone out of my room and tried to sleep. I couldn’t sleep a bit. I was imagining what her reaction would be when she receives the letter.

My friends understood my situation and that card was never delivered. It all became normal and we continued to be friends. Her rejecting proposals had not become an event now. The count was at 19. It’s been some time now we are friends and I need to express my feeling for her. My friends as usual gave me encouragement to me to speak my mind. They even told me this the season of love and girls also need some one to mate. I was asked to make use of the advantage and express my feeling for her. I had no idea how to do the same and my friends came with me to the telephone booth. It was a seen to watch. 10 of my friends were accompanying me to the telephone booth to make a call. There were no mobile phone during that time and couples used the single landline which was there in the girls’ hostel and that phone was always busy. My friends stopped the guy who was already making a call to the girls’ hostel and handed over the receiver to me.

I dialled the number and waited for it to get answered. My heart beats were rising.  When a female voice picked up the phone I went speechless. My friends were standing around me and were asking me to speak up. I slowly opened my mouth and asked for Saloni. My friends were confused and asked me why I was calling Saloni instead of Sayonara. I told them, that I cannot speak to Sayonara directly and will ask Saloni to do the needful. When Saloni said hello from the other end I went speech less.  I slowly started with small talks and then slowly came to the point. The moment I finished asking her to convey my feeling to Sayonara, Saloni exploded like anything. What is wrong with you all guys? If you don’t have the courage to tell your feeling directly to a girl, how can you expect she will ever accept your proposal? She continued her lecture for next 3 minutes and I didn’t speak a word.

By the time I reached the hostel, the news had spread like wild fire. There were long queues of people who came and conveyed their condolence. Even if I was not unhappy about what happened, these people made sure that I would not be happy for at lease next two days. They had already given me a new name, No. 21. How can I be 21? The last update I had was 19. May be I should not get into all these mathematics now. Then there was this guy from chemical batch who came in and welcomed me to FOSLA Club. I was wondering what that was and he expanded it to me.  “Frustrated One Sided Lovers’ Association”

I was an automatic recruit to the FOSLA club. My friends may forget my birthday but will remember 17^th August, which was her birthday. I had to get bumped on her birthday. Not only have me but 20 others also get bumps that day. My friends still call her bhabhi. They used to shout my name when she passes by my friends. We arrived at a general consensus that she was not interested in love and BF stuff. She broke all our assumptions when she started dating her senior. The last I herd about her was that, she is in a live-in relationship with her senior in Chennai.

This is all old stories, but what is troubling you now? He took a quick sip of his drink and spoke. FOSLA club celebrates get-together on every 17^th August. Today we have the party and Sayonara is in town and is expected to attend the party today.  I asked him to be cool and attend the party and it’s been quite sometime now. Relax and be cool in the party. His phone ringed and he started speaking to his wife and promised her he will not drink too much and will be home by 12. I told him that it was worth let go Sayonara, that is the reason you got such a loving wife. What is Bhabi’s name?

He just finished his drink in a hurry and told me, "Let’s move fast I need to reach the party venue in 20 mins. And I’m not married. I’m in a Live-in relationship and her name is Saloni."

I had lot of questions in my mind. Is this the same Saloni whom he asked to convey his feeling to Sayonara? How come they became a couple? As if he read my mind he told me that, he will tell him the more about his life when we have a drink next time. He walked out, giving me a wicked smile. :P

I had lot of questions inside my mind about Saloni. But I wanted answer for one question very badly so I ran behind Amit and stopped him. “Amit, it is still not a reason for your mood off from this morning. Amit took a deep breath and placed his left hand over my shoulder and started speaking.

Today morning Saloni told me those age old dialogue from bollywood hits. I still looked at his eyes with confused look. He took a pause and continued, “Mai Tumha Bachche ki Maa Banne wali hoon” 

This could be a reason for worry. I couldn't speak a word and just looked at him walking away.

BELCIBO

What does belcibo means? I just wanted to start my conversation with the waiter in the newly opened eating outlet at Lower Parel. He resembled someone I knew. He had no physical appearance of my friend, but I could feel the energy level he had. He works for 12hrs in that restaurant and he is only 18 years old. I and my friend Ankit were the only customers of the Italian-Chinese Restaurant. It was already 10 O’ Clock and we were bored of all other restaurants in Lower Parel.

Breaking the ice was so easy with him and he started speaking about his life and adventures he has done till date. He told me how he couldn’t pass his 12^th grade as he met with a bike accident. He was quick enough to answer me before I asked the question. He revealed that he never had his licence when the incident took place. He expressed how difficult it was for him to bend his leg as he had a steal rod fitted inside his flesh. He was speaking as if we knew each other for years. I was already lost in my thoughts. I can hear Ankit advising him to study further.

He was sounding very familiar. The kind of energy and the way he express things are very familiar to someone I Knew, my friend Albert. Albert was a 18 year old friend who had solution for everything. He always smiled at every problem and faces it head on. He was a friend, philosopher, sibling, guide and a devil’s advocate. He was always with me to decide between right and wrong.

He was always there to help me. He was a genius and always took decisions with his brain rather than with his heart. He was the one who helped me to take important decisions in my life. I still remember the decision I took to go to NIT Hamirpur. He was sitting next to me helped me to make my mind at the last moment. He came all the way to NIT Hamirpur with me. I’ve never seen him in tension. He was always fun loving person.

He knew everything about me, would even know what is going on in my mind. A friend who would always listen to me, all my issues and problems and was there when I was rusticated from the college hostel. He taught me to think practically, was my strategic partner. Without him my life would have been a hell.

They say twins always know what is happening in other’s mind and will be going through same emotional and physical pain. He only had his physical appearance like me. Even though we were like identical twins, we were two different poles, our behaviour and inclination was very different.

He speaks many languages and tried teaching me few basic words of few languages. I was very week in picking up languages and he always made fun of me for the same.

Ankit always told me that, I was mad and was always talking to myself. He was not ready to believe that, there is some one called Albert. He told me that I’m hallucinating about Albert. Am I really hallucinating like John Nash the Nobel Prize winner? Does that mean I’ll also win a Nobel Prize or is it just that I’m a mad guy? I tried hard to look for Albert and suddenly realized that I don’t have his phone Number or have no idea where he stays. I think Ankit is logical and I needed medical attention. I didn’t want to tell anyone about my condition and I decided to take medical help in Andheri East. I started visiting my doctor on regular interval. I made it a point not to miss any session. More than being a young beautiful doctor she was also good with what she did. Slowly and slowly Albert moved out of my life. My belief in the doctor increased day by day.

It became difficult for me to live my life with out talking to my doctor. One day I asked her out and she readily agreed for the dinner. I had no idea where to take her. I just got inside a cool cab and asked him to take us to Grand Hayat. We had a wonderful time out there and that day I was so happy and told Ankit about her. He was also excited and I promised him that, I’ll take him along when I go for the next session.

I never thought, that would be the most painful day of my life. When we walked towards her clinic, he asked me where I was taking him. I told the doctor’s clinic was near by. He was not convinced and looked at me as if I was taking him to another Planet.  There was no one in the clinic and it looked deserted. Ankit kept his hands over my shoulder and told me there is no doctor here and I need better medical attention. He told me that I was hallucinating about the doctor too. I was totally torn apart.

Ankit was still talking to the waiter in the restaurant. I cut them short suddenly and told them. Great food is the English equivalent of 'bel cibo'. In the word by word translation, the adjective 'bel' means 'beautiful, handsome'. The masculine gender noun 'cibo' means 'food'.

Ankit asked me how I learnt Italian. Swetha taught me this when we went to Grand Hayat. Who is Swetha?  She was my doctor from Andheri East. I just walked out of the restaurant and took a deep breath and told to myself, may be this is the imaginary world and what if Swetha and Albert were real. There are few questions which will never be answered, but never stop looking for those answers. 

27 YEAR OLD VIRGIN

  You mean to say that, you are a 27 year old Virgin? When she posted this question I didn’t actually hear the words that came out of her lips but I was just watching the beauty of her lip movement.  She was looking very graceful in her blue top. Yes I’m. Don’t I look like a Virgin? I questioned her back. We both were one peg down and I never knew this place can be so good. I now knew it was not about the place but the company I’m with makes the difference. Two more pegs down she was going strong and I could feel like my head spinning and she started asking me about my first love. I still don’t get why girls always wants to talk about first crush and first kiss. It’s my past and I don’t live there anymore. This girl was above all. Her next question really made me speechless. Did u make out with her? I should have stopped this conversation there but I kept on speaking after taking one more peg.


One thing was sure, we truly loved each other. She wanted me with all her heart, just as I wanted her. But she was not sure it was right to give up her virginity before she married. That would make her a fallen lady and she wasn't ready to become that. She was a Christian girl and had been taught sex before marriage is a sin, and neither of us wanted to sin. She loved me though so very much. I didn't see what it mattered that she had to save her virginity for marriage.

I was sure willing to give up my virginity for her. As a matter of fact, I was very willing to give it up. I was ready to give it up for years already. She kept saying no though so I honored her feelings on the subject. I had told her I loved her and wanted to marry her after I finish college but that was still four years down the road. I just didn't see how I could wait another four years. She had accepted my marriage proposal even if it meant waiting until college was finished.

We were together after our dates many a times and had to take a cold shower just to go to sleep.   I was pretty sure she had some sleepless nights too because I knew she had almost lost control a few times. But I was a true gentleman and during those times she had got so aroused from our petting, I had not insisted she give in to me because I knew that would have been taking advantage of her at a vulnerable time. I had integrity and honor. Horney as I was with all my hormones raging, I would not take advantage of the girl I loved. If she gave in to me it had to be something we both planned well in advance, not something done in the back seat of a car on the spur of the moment. I wanted our first time together to be something we would both remember for the rest of their lives. I would plan something very special for us. I was sure I wanted her to be my wife already. I could not even imagine my life without her in it. It was not easy to do though, but I realized anything worth having is worth the wait. It's not always instant gratification that is so important, but self-discipline can prove to you that you can maintain self-control when necessary.

It was beautiful but, the Almighty had different plans for us. I was at my native place when her friend called me up to say that the car she was travelling met with an accident. When I reached there I could not look at her face once. Her beautiful face is not beautiful anymore. I couldn’t see her motionless body. She was beautiful in a long white gown and veil and white heels.  I felt like I was all alone in this crowded world. It took me months to come out of that shock

I’m sorry Vineesh. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry for what had happened to you. I could see tears in her eyes and I was happy that, my story had done the magic expected. Now she is going to believe me that, I’m a loving, caring and Virgin BF material. I’ve created a masterpiece background for it. It was so quick after that. We departed to our respective houses and I could see her eyes still moist. I’m happy that, my plan is working well.

It’s been a week now and still I was not successful in scoring. She was busy with her work so was I. One day she came rushing to me and asked about my blog. I never knew, not telling that, I’m a blogger will create so much problem. I tried to convince her about the percentage of fiction and reality in my blogs. She was not ready to buy my arguments. She was in the opinion that I cannot write an intimate scene without experiencing it. Something stuck in my mind suddenly.  I asked her, how the hell does she know the feeling?

Her response was loud. I had a fucking BF. I wanted to ask her was that an Adjective or a Verb. I don’t speak anything and I’m sure she is like an active Volcano now. Tears always find a way to her eyes. How could you lie to me so casually? All boys are the same. You don’t care for our feeling. She kept on speaking like she owns me. I wanted to ask her back that, what is the big deal if I’m not a Virgin, neither is she. I controlled my emotions and tried to pacify her. I told her my blogs are work of imagination and there is nothing real in it. I’m a Virgin.

It was a switch. She stopped crying instantly. I never knew she could stop crying so easily. She stood up, looked straight up into my eyes and told me this relationship has no future and we need to break up. Break-up? What is happening? It ends before it started. I was confused and asked her what is it and what is wrong with her. She told me that, she could not have a relationship with a Virgin. This tactics of being virgin had never gone wrong, what is happening today? That was the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard for a breakup.

Someone walking out of my life was a new thing for me. It was always the other way around. I needed to drink today. Drink like a mad man. I asked my friend to join me. He looked equally sad as I was. I asked him, what happened and he told me that, he will have to wait for 1 month to have sex. I was curious to know the reason. Why should a playboy like him need to wait that too for 4 weeks? I got a new girlfriend and she is only 17 years and 11 month old. We both burst out to laughter. He was laughing like a mad guy when he gulped his On-The-Rocks white rum.    

My life became normal again, I was back into my normal life, but every night I dream of her. Is this what they call true love? My relationships usually last for a couple of months and I easily get out of it and what is stopping me from this one? How could things change so drastically? I’ve lost interest in everything. When ever I close my eyes I could see her. My friend told me to get a new girl to get out of her memories. I started with my signature style and told her the story why I’m a Virgin waiting for her. I did what he told me and I was happy with the new girl, but the moment I’m alone it is all her again. I was alone before also but her absence is making me fell lonelier.

I plugged in my earphone and played a gazzal in loop mode and dozed off to sleep hopping she will one day come out of my dreams and hug me tightly. Will she know my feeling, I’ve no idea. I have a strong feeling she will come back to me.

Jagjit Singh’sgazzal was still playing


“tere baare main jab socha nahi tha

main tanha tha magar itna nahi tha

tere baare main jab socha nahi tha

teri tasveer se karta tha batein

mere kamre main aina nahi tha

main tanha tha magar itna nahi tha

tere bare main jab socha nahi tha...

samunder ne mujhey pyasa kiya tha

main jab sehara tha pyasa nahi tha

main tanha tha.....

manane ruthney ke khel main hum

bhichad jayenge ye socha nahi tha

main tanha tha ...

suna hai band kar li usne ankhein

kai raaton se woh soya nahi tha

main tanha tha....”