My friend’s GF, oops!!! My friend’s Love (As she calls herself) once told me, I’m a frustrated piece of shit. I need to get married. I asked her why she was so judgemental about me and she told me that, my blogs are full of Sex, Rape and Murder. It’s always dark. I needed a break and start writing something innovative and different. I told her “Barking Dogs seldom bites”, she just repeated the world seldom. I was freaked out enough to get out of the house and walked aimlessly. Many thoughts were wandering in my mind; I was walking as if I was in somnambulism. I got my conscious back, only when I realized that, I’m in Marine Drive. I just sat there gazing to the rough sea. The high tide was splashing water on my face. I just love to look at sea. Sea has wonderful power to absorb anything. I love to give it all my sorrows and like to confess to her all mistakes I’ve committed. But it is been strange, till date I had no confessions to make or neither did I had one today.
Vineesh, is that you? That was a familiar female voice. Oh! My God, that is Riya (Ref:- Mousetrap – my previous blog). Riya, you have grown to a beautiful woman. Yeah, but you just fled away from Mangalore two years back and never returned back. You never called my friend; she was very upset about you. Oh! really? I just didn’t want to talk about that episode. Riya, what are you doing here in Mumbai? It’s been almost one and a half years now in Mumbai. I’m doing graduation in computer programming Languages from Mumbai University. Good! Interesting, it’s been 5-6 years, I’ve done any coding. May be, I should start coding. She was very excited to know I like coding. Riya has really blossomed into a beautiful flower. Her blue top with butterflies over it and white shorts looked as if she was designed for the dress or vice versa.
It started raining suddenly and we were running in search of a shade holding each others hands. A girl in her Pink Lakhnawi Kurti was enjoying the down pour. I just couldn’t take my eyes off her beautiful body. The transparent Pink Lakhnawi Kurti was sticking to her body so nicely that every curve was quite visible. I was just staring at her while I was running in search of a shade holding Riya’s hands. That young pink girl was still enjoying every droplet of water that was coming down. We found tree shade by the time and Riya held my hand and asked if I would like to have a cup of coffee at her place. That looked like a perfect evening for me. Mumbai’s Mansoon, has just made Riya wet and I could see a drop of water travelling fro m her chin to her neck and moving inside her top. Sea breeze was moving through the wet hair of a beautiful lady who is holding my hand. May be this was not enough and she is inviting me to her place. We took a taxi and started moving towards Riya’s place. Riya, don’t u stay in a Hostel? Hostel sucks and restricts your freedom. I’ve taken a room with my BF. Oh! So you are in a live-in relationship? When I put forth this question looking very casual, the card castle, I’ve created in my mind has already started falling down. I just didn’t hear what her replay was. Till reaching her apartment, she was talking about many things and I was really not concentrating.
She just went straight to the kitchen and started making coffee. I enquired about her boyfriend and she informed me that her BF was in France and will only come back after 2 months. I don’t know why, suddenly I felt so lively and the card castle in my mind started self construction by itself. After the coffee and some usual talk, I left her house. But this became a regular practise later. I started making any damn excuse to meet her. I even made stories to my roommates to meet her. As always it was fun being with her. We have started spending quality time with each other. I started studying with her. I was reading networking books and programming languages. We started talking about geek things rather than romantic things. I became so obsessed with her or may be with coding, I started doing her assignments while she was chatting with her BF on internet. I was a fool and still continue helping her in every possible way I could. When my friends asked why I was doing this, I had no answer. I just smiled back to them. I always wanted to be with her and work for her. I always felt so good in her company.
On that black day I don’t know, why in the morning itself, I was in her house. After a peppy talk I decided to go back. Before leaving the place, I asked Riya for a Kiss. I don’t know why I asked such a silly thing. Riya was suddenly taken back and we just pressed our cheeks with each other and I went back. This could have been the end, but I came back to her place and ringed her door bell. As soon as she opened the door I went inside and tried to kiss her. She resisted and told, this is not the right thing I was doing. I was not there to do right things. I don’t know what was wrong with me. May be the monsoon effect, I just forced myself on that poor girl. I could see fear that disturbance in her eyes. She was in a shock and would have ever expected such behaviour from my side. May be the shock had made her not to respond violently. Her lips looked so juicy and the animal inside me had already woken up. I could not see or hear anything, and was just forcing my body against her.
Once I was done, I just went out with out saying anything. I just went straight to Marine Drive and I had to confess. May be first time in my entire life, I had something to confess to sea. I just sat there all alone and it was raining heavily. I didn’t make any attempt to move and was just getting wet in the rain. I wanted to stay that way, and so I could hide my tears in the rain drops. I had forgotten to cry, but tears had not forgotten their way and I was crying like a small kid. I’ve just done a heinous crime. I could go behind bars for 7 long years. I sat there and confessed to the sea through my tears. I just didn’t know what to do and was simply sitting there with a blank mind. I had no idea what to do. My hands were shivering to make a call. I gathered all strength and dialled Riya’s number. I couldn’t believe myself when she greeted with a hello. I just talked her for almost one hour telling her to cheer up and I really wanted to meet her and we decided to meet in the evening near Reagal in Colaba.
When we walked towards Gateway of India, I had no idea what to say. I just started admiring this girl now. She is not even 20 years of age and was confidently walking with a man may be a beast who was forcing himself on her a few hours back. She started speaking to me. Now Vineesh you can tell me what ever you want to tell me. I just said I need to cry in your arms that is what I literally told her. Vineesh speak out you will definitely feel better. A girl who has not even completed 2 decades of her life in this world is explaining me what to be done. My respect for her started growing every minute I was spending with her. She suddenly became my friend, Philosopher, Guide and many more. More importantly she has just forgiven me for what I’ve done. I consider myself the luckiest guy in this world to sit with a girl and talk to her even after all the terrible thing I’ve done to her.
I was full of guilt and was getting unwell physically too. It is said if you are mentally disturbed, that can affect you physically too. This was actually happening to me. But I don’t know why I always felt better talking to her or being with her. I started finding excuses to be with her. Fever of the magnitude of 104 never stopped me from being with her. I never felt I was sick when I was with her. I started helping her with her college assignments. I started coding after 5 years just for her. I read all programming and networking books available and started making her project. I don’t know why I was doing this. Riya used to chat with her BF on skype. I still used to work for her whole nights. May be I was getting too much obsessed with programming language or my guilt was making me do even though I know she is chatting with her BF while I burn mid night oils.
Things were getting back to normal, she had forgiven me and things were getting smooth and I don’t know what happened to me. I repeated the mistake again. This time I again forced myself on her. What is wrong with me? I ran away from her. You can commit a mistake and say sorry, but what do u say to her after repeating the same. To my surprise, she was much mature than what I thought, she was. Next time when we met her eyes told me to stay away from her. I just couldn’t do that. I told her I love her. I told her I love her because I love her and not because I love her. What ever I told doesn’t make any sense. But matter of fact was that, she could understand my feeling and she understood what I was trying to convince. Last time I thought, I was the luckiest guy in the world, but now I know I’m most fortunate and luckiest guy in the entire universe. She is still in talking terms with me and I’ve become more sensible now. I never cared about her BF till now and I started asking more about him. To my surprise, he turns out to be one of my old friends.
I was blank for a minute and was really thinking Am I really a frustrated piece of shit? I’ve just done an unfaithful act to one of my friend. I wanted to run to my roommates and tell them everything, but somehow I couldn’t frame words. I tried calling my friends across the world, but again I couldn’t tell anything. In this city, Friends are Family. Nobody would believe I’ve done something like this. Vineesh could never do something like this. But the truth is that, I’ve committed this heinous crime, not once but twice.
She was missing her BF much more than ever and I wanted to do something for her. I asked her why we don’t go to Paris to meet her BF. She suddenly agreed. We booked our tickets to Paris and I had no idea what was in store for me in Paris.I never expected to meet a French-open player on my trip.
(To be continued….)
This story is inspired from real incidences, but is not based on any individuals living or dead. Any resemblance is purely coincidence
Quite illustrated one this is!!
ReplyDeletenice!!
Thanx mate
ReplyDeletewhy is it tht we always felt like a criminal!!! i m not agreeing ..ny wyz.. very nice way of expression.. keep it up bud.
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@Leo It is not about feeling like a criminal. It is all about getting out of that feeling.. as life has to move on...
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