I’ll forget everything. That is a single sentence that killed the so called love. Now she is not mine, someone else have his hand over her. How can you just vanish away from my life? My ears still listen for your footsteps.
As every middleclass
family my parents also wanted me to do a government Job. I was never interested
in a government Job. I always wanted to be the government, not the government
servant. I learned the first lesson in life, everything runs on money. So I
need money. Normal jobs will never give me that kind of money and I did
everything to make more money and in the process lost more than what I would
have made in a regular Job.
But everything changed when I met her. She became the reason
for which I should live. I ignored everything and she became everything for me.
I even didn’t care for my Job and was always engrossed with her thoughts. I
decided to do anything under sun to make her my mine. She was like a cool
breeze in my life.
We were like the best pair made on this beautiful planet.
What went wrong? I have no idea. I’m sure for one thing, it was divine. Oh
really? If it was divine, why the fuck did it end? Oh! May be as they say all
good things have to end. I feel so low for myself. May be I was not the right
guy for her. That cannot be true, if I’m not the right guy, then there is no
right guy in this world.
How can someone new come to my life? How will I love
her? That will just be a compromise. I
will never be with someone as crazy as her. She was the only girl whom I’ve dated till
date can have equal amount of alcohol with me and the sing Eminem’s “Love the
way you lie”. She will be totally in her senses even though she acts
beautifully that, she is totally drunk. I just love the way she sings when she
is drunk. They say alcohol is bad, but it only makes her sexier.
I still remember our outing to one of the most beautiful
beaches in Konkan. She was game for any crazy stuff. She fabricated the story
of a study tour and we were off for a bag packing trip. It was so crazy that,
we never had any destination in our mind and just wanted to spend some quality
time together. We took a bus and set off like hitchhikers. Those were the best
days of my life. I still remember her anger towards me, because of a love bite
on her neck. It was so easy for me to divert her thoughts with a Joint I made
for her. We both dozed off to sleep under the stars. Hallucination under the effect of Joint was so good. Caretaker of our cottage had arranged the best available weed for our Joint.
It’s been fucking one year she is no more there. I feel so
lonely without her. Every fucking place reminds me of her. I wanted an escape
from her thoughts. I wanted to run away from myself. I changed my Job, I changed my city, I
changed my profession. I did everything to get away. But still when I’m alone,
I cannot escape from her memory. I badly want her. Today I have to go to her.
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I bought flowers and the most expensive red wine. I was
going to her, but looked like I’ll never make it. When I reached my destination,
I was so lost in my thoughts. I went on to my knees and offered the flowers and
wine at her feet. I stood up and started walking back. I just cannot resist
myself to look back. I read the lines written on her tomb again. “A beautiful butterfly who made everyone
happy till she was alive rests here.” I suddenly noticed a weed growing next to
her tomb and sat next to her tomb making a Joint and I became a butterfly
flying along with the most beautiful butterfly.
It is very true that
Love is like Butterfly, if you hold it too loose it will fly away and if I hold
it too had, it will be crushed. I’ll tell you how I lost my butterfly, stay
tunes to my blogspot.
